Esther Taught Me...

She Reads Truth has been such a blessing to my spiritual life the past few months. The way these women writers dig into Scripture to reveal truths and share them with myself and others across the globe is so encouraging. If you haven’t checked them out, I highly suggest it. This month they did a study on Esther that hasn’t been a disappointment. With getting back into the swing of school and life, the time I take each day to meet with my Father and read their posts has been something I have cherished each day.

God revealed several things to me through this Esther study, and for me to process them and try to live in them daily, I thought I would blog about them. Before this study I knew the gist of the story of Esther, but I had never read through the entire book or took time to see God’s hand in everything that happens. Some of these thoughts are taken from posts themselves {if so I will link them to that specific post}, but most are thoughts God has placed on my heart as I have dug deep into His Word.

1. All Scripture is about God

I have memorized 2 Timothy 3:16-17 several times in my life.

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

I have known this truth, but it wasn’t until I studied Esther, where God’s name is never even mentioned, that it became real to me. So many times I feel like I come to Scripture expecting God to teach me something general, when most of the time I should looking at it differently. Scripture is about God, about His love, about His holiness, about His goodness.

2. Vengeance is God’s, not mine

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:21

With all the evil in this world, it’s hard not to want to take matters into my own hands. It’s hard to just sit back and watch my brothers and sisters be treated horribly. But what can a 21-year-old college student from Tennessee do? I can pray. I can be bold in my faith. In Esther 3, Haman, a royal official to King Xerxes, plotted to destroy the Jews because Mordecai refused to bow to him. Haman manipulated the king into agreeing to this decree to wipe out the Jews from the land. During all this, Mordecai continued to worship God. He didn’t seek to stop Haman, but trusted his Lord was in control and would take care of His people. Debbie Eaton wrote on her post, “God’s promises give us the hope to get up off the couch, get on our knees and pray, to believe God can work through us to spread His gospel of grace and peace to a prideful, hurting world.” I want to have a heart like Mordecai’s that is unwavering in faith in our God, who will bring justice in His timing.

3. God trusts me

“And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14b

Mordecai knows Haman’s plan and he also knows Esther’s position and the pull she has with the king. He persuaded Esther to use her voice to save her people. Esther 4:14 is Mordecai giving wisdom to Esther. It is also God giving direction to us. We each have our own kingdoms that God has placed us in. If we have received His gift of salvation, He expects us to proclaim His gospel. He trusts us. He trusts me to carry out His Word. That is a huge responsibility. I want to fully fulfill my duties for His Kingdom.

4. God’s voice is the loudest in the quiet

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.” Psalm 37:7

Through Esther’s help, Mordecai is finally honored for all he did. He wasn’t forgotten. God didn’t forget Mordecai’s faithfulness. God ties up the loose ends of Esther. I have loose ends too. I don’t know my future, but I want to. Just as Xerxes couldn’t sleep late at night, I stay up occasionally pondering what God has planned. I have to remember though, sitting back and thinking about it, isn’t what God wants me to do. He wants me to give my desires to Him. To seek Him in the quiet times. To boldly approach His throne. When I am quiet and listening, He speaks.

5. Crying is okay

“Esther again pleaded with the king, falling at his feet and weeping. She begged him to put an end to the evil plan of Haman the Agagite…” Esther 8:3

Esther's heart was hurting for her people and she expressed herself with the shedding of tears. Jesus’s heart was hurting because of the death of Lazarus and he expressed his emotion through tears. God has given me a heart that expresses itself through tears. Droplets of my feelings frequently pour out of my eyes and I still try to hide them. Slowly God is showing me it’s okay for me to express myself through tears. For Esther, “Freedom came at the cost of her tears.” (Annie Downs)

May I remember all that God has taught me these past 2 weeks. May I strive to be my best for my Father. May I decrease my desires and increase His will in my life.

Blessings,

Chelsea

Year in Review: 2014

Today marks one year since I have started my blog! My first post was dedicated to announcing that I wanted MORE out of 2014. I reread journal entires where I told God to give me courage to be whoever I was supposed to be this year for His glory and to give me wisdom on how to give more for Him this year. When I originally prayed those words I had no idea what I was getting myself into and I wouldn't change it if I could.

When I returned to school in January my church I attend continued to encourage us to pray about their spring break mission trips they were offering. One Wednesday night, a man from Arizona spoke about the lostness in his area and encouraged us to go on the college mission trip to Tucson. That night I felt God calling me to go and thinking about my prior promises, I said "yes" 30 minutes later. The week I got to spend in Tucson was unforgettable. I got to share the gospel with people numerous times and pray for people who needed encouragement. God took me out of my comfort zone that week to remind me: His work is not finished and we, as His laborers, must continue to fight the good fight.

In mid-January, I got an e-mail that I never expected. I had been hired as an intern for Agua Viva Ministries in Ensenada, Mexico. I probably read the e-mail hundreds of times, but still couldn't believe the journey I was going to embark on that summer. I finished up spring semester full of good memories with friends, but in the back of my mind I was constantly trying to decide I was ready to spend two and a half months in a place I had never even heard of with people I hadn't met for the sake of the gospel. May 27th came and I boarded my first flight. Before I knew it, August 10th came and I was flying home. My days in Mexico are some I will never be able to forget. I made life-long friends, new brothers and sisters in Christ, and memories I will hide in my heart forever. 

Soon after returning home from Mexico, I started my junior year at Union. I didn't know it then, but this past semester turned into the hardest academic season I had experienced since starting Union. I definitely was relying on the Lord for my strength! Apart from school I had many wonderful times with friends, including visiting a dear friend in Chicago on my fall break. For my 21st birthday, my roommates (and others) surprised me by taking me to a pumpkin patch that afternoon. It was a sweet, restful time!

Now as I am spending some quality time at home, I have had a lot of time to reflect on all the Lord has taught me this year. As I think about specific moments, my mind still goes back to my prayers where I asked God for an abundance in courage. In Paul's letter to the church of Ephesus in chapter 3, he ended his prayer in a way I have tried this past year to remember. I started this year expecting God to do so much and show me His love, but He still exceeded my expectations. Ephesians 3:20 reminds me that I serve a big, gracious God that loves me more than I could ever imagine. 

Blessings,

Chelsea

I once was lost, but now I'm found...

Yesterday I finished a my first in-depth study on the book of Hosea with an awesome blog called She Reads Truth {If you haven't ever heard of them, I highly suggest you check them out, ladies}. The past 17 days I have been studying Hosea inside and out with hundreds of women all over the world. It's a daily devotional and an online community that engage women in scripture, prayer, and spiritual truth. This is the second, in real time, study I have done with them and I have been encouraged every day. Who wouldn't be encouraged by reading God's Word with hundreds of sisters each day knowing all of us come with our unique stories to praise the same God? It's awesome! 

Now to reality, reading Hosea was sometimes difficult, sometimes refreshing, and sometimes terrifying. If you don't know much about Hosea, you should read this post. As I read about how Israel continued to turn from God, not seek Him, and worship false idols, I knew it sounded familiar. I am Israel. I turn my back on God when things don't go the way I think they should. I don't seek Him in the good and bad times. I worship other things besides Him. I feel like this is a constant battle for most of us because we live in a fallen world. We are constantly being distracted by things around us that want our undivided attention, but none of them deserve it. In Hosea, the people worshipped Baal, wooden idols, and themselves. Now we worship others, technology, ourselves, and the list goes on. 

Though Israel was so disobedient, God never gave up on them. Hebrews 12: 3-7, 11 says:

"

For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, so that you won’t grow weary and lose heart. In struggling against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons:

My son, do not take the Lord’s discipline lightly

or faint when you are reproved by Him,

for the Lord disciplines the one He loves

and punishes every son He receives. 

No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the fruit of peace and righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

He loved Israel, so He disciplined them. He wanted them to see the consequences of their sins. He wanted them to repent and turn their hearts back to Him. In Hosea, God was just and punished them for their wrongdoings. It was hard and painful, but He still loved them. The same is true for us. We do things that aren't pleasing to God, but He waits with open arms for our return. Hosea ends with a promise of restoration. Verse 4 God says, "I will heal their waywardness, and love them freely." May your heart find peace in His promise. 

As a whole, Hosea was very reflective for me. I thought back to the time when I received salvation. How before I intimately knew God, I lived for myself and my own happiness. Yet God was still pining after my heart. When I finally realized I needed Him, I remember physically feeling His love for me. Now looking back on those times, I see how lost I was before July 4, 2006. Now on September 12, 2014 I'm found. I find love in Him. I find life in Him. I find peace in Him who died so that I may live.  

Blessings,

Chelsea 

Simply Live.

Moving back to the US and back to school all within a week was...overwhelming. After living completely different from my norm for 76 days, I knew normal life would be hard to adjust back into. As I am finally finding my niche back in school, I have time to collect my thoughts and decipher my summer in Mexico. Most times when we return from a mission trip, we expect to reflect on our time spent serving and get a revelation or epiphany from God. I spent a good amount of time searching for this big picture. I was turning over every rock in my mind trying to decide what God was trying to teach me and why He had called me to Mexico. I was praying that He would show me sooner rather than later so I would know my purpose and live accordingly. Looking back on my journal entries, I want to go back in time and slap myself silly! For a healthy portion of the summer I decided why God had called me to work with Agua Viva was all about me and my relationship with Him. I was wrong. 

It was the week after July 4th, when God sat me down took hold of me like a mother would her child trying to teach them something important. I remember realizing how selfish I had become and feeling convicted. I prayed that God would rearrange my heart to align with His. That's when everything made sense. I wouldn't call it a relation or epiphany, but an end to them. Being a missionary or doing missions is not about me. Ever. Yes, God is going to teach me things along the way as long as I am in an active relationship with Him, but that's not the big picture. 

 

Matthew 28:19-20 says, "Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Jesus instructed His disciples to "teach them to observe everything I have commanded you." He equipped His servants to go and teach others. He instructed them to "go" and simply live. Go to all the nations and make disciples. That's what we are all called to do. After I understood this, I didn't pray for a purpose because I didn't need to know. I knew my job and I knew what I had been called to do. God had the rest. He still does. 
As I continue to reflect on my time in Mexico, how awesome it is to know that's how God calls me to live here at school too. May I not worry about all the details of why I'm at Union, why I work with kids, or why I have the job that I do. God knows and He will tell me in His timing. I want to focus on what I am called to do. Simply live. 


Blessings,

Chelsea

Week 5: VCC and Vino Nuevo

This week we worked with a group from Dublin, CA. VCC is no stranger to Agua Viva; they have been coming several times a year since 1989! I worked with them men all week on building new bathrooms for Vino Nuevo and some roofing. I was so encouraged by their work effort, how encouraging they were, and how serious they took their faith all week. I came into this week thinking it was going to be exhausting and having a bad attitude, but once I was around the group they completely changed my attitude. I am so thankful for the friendships I made this week! Though I was consumed in working this week, God did a number on my heart that I am so glad He keeps reminding me of. 

This week I was asked, "Did you ever think you would be hanging drywall in Mexico?" I simply said no, but in my mind I couldn't help but think I never thought I would even be in Mexico to begin with. I thought back to 6 years ago when I answered God's call for my life to do miss one having no idea where He would take me. If you would have told me then that I would be spending 2 and a half months working in Mexico I wouldn't have thought twice about it. The more I kept thinking about all God has blessed and surprised me with in my life the more I wanted to praise Him. God knows my heart's desires before I do. As long as I rely on His strength to get me through there is nothing too hard or impossible. Who knows what my life is going to look like this time next year or 5 years from now. I do know one thing- its going to be far more than I could ever imagine! 

As I still have 30 days here, I pray I have faith enough to know God is going to do big things in me and through me! 

Blessings,

Chelsea

Week 4: Sunland Neighborhood, Casa Esperanza, and El Mesias

This week we had a group of high school and college students guided by their fearless youth minister. They were from Sunland Neighborhood Church in Sunland, CA, which is in the greater LA area. This was their first time here at Agua Viva and for most it was their first mission trip ever. But you couldn't tell. They continuously prayed for boldness and God showered them with it. Never once did they back down from sharing the gospel despite the language and cultural barriers. Of course they were nervous and doubted their own abilities, but God was present this week and spoke for them.

On Monday afternoon we did street evangelism where we went to a park and they performed some songs. Afterwards they went and started conversations with people in order to share the gospel. It was so cool to look in every direction and see students talking to homeless people, families, and kids their own age even if they had no idea what was going on.

Oh, we also witnessed one of the adult leaders save a pigeon. It was awesome. 

On Tuesday and Wednesday afternoon we went to an orphanage called Casa Esperanza. It is a home for mothers and their children who seek refuge from abusive homes. The children were beautiful and so much fun to play with. The first girl I met, Ximena was holding an Evangecube. When I asked her about it she shared the gospel with me and finished with asking me if I knew Jesus personally. I replied with a hug and a warm heart knowing that I had such a young sister in Christ who cared about the salvation of others. Sunland Neighborhood really enjoyed kicking the soccer ball around with them and sharing Christ's love for them through songs and a skit. On Wednesday as we prepared to say goodbye, we circled up to pray and a couple of the children from the orphanage asked to pray for us. They asked God to bless us. To protect us. To give us wisdom. To hear these things coming from young children who have had hard lives, blessed me like no other.

Tuesday through Thursday afternoon we worked with a church called El Mesias to put on a VBS. The youth of this church also helped and it was so encouraging to see both youth groups interact with each other.  Each day we had around 25 or so kids that we got to love on. We did crafts, sang songs, memorized verses, ate LOTS of snacks and enjoyed each others' company. The pastor of the church and his family were so welcoming and encouraged us each day. On Thursday night we joined them for their worship service where Sunland performed songs, a skit, and told testimonies. It lasted for 2 and a half hours but it felt like no time at all. Getting to worship with brothers and sisters who we have only known for a week was such a precious glimpse of heaven. We were all from different cultures, languages, but it didn't matter.

As July 4th approached I began to reminisce on the past 8 years. 8 years ago today I gave my life to Christ. I surrendered my all to Him. I thought of where I was spiritually 8 years ago, not knowing what God had in store for me for the years to come. I thought of what God rescued me from time after time. I thought of the time I went on my first mission trip like most of the kids here. I thought of the times I have felt God's presence, heard His voice, and received confirmation for His plans for my life. Finally I thought of all the all the instances that have added up to this summer. Here in Mexico speaking Spanish. Developing the friendships I have. Using the gifts God has given me. One phrase sums it up. ¡Gloria a Dios! 

Last night we met up with some friends on the beach. We ate pizza, roasted s'mores, and shot fireworks. We had good conversation and listened to music. It was definitely a holiday to remember! 

Prayer Requests:
-For our 2 reams this week, Bethel and VCC.
-For the various construction projects we are doing around camp and Ensenada.  
-For the summer staff, our physical and spiritual health.

Week 3: FPC Wickenburg and Vino Nuevo

Te amo Cristo muy dentro de mi corazón

Te amo Cristo muy dentro de mi corazón

Dentro, dentro, dentro de mi corazón

Dentro, dentro, dentro de mi corazón

One of the sweet ladies from the church we worked with this week taught this song to the children at VBS and it has been stuck in my head. It translates in English as, "I love you, Christ, very deep in my heart. Deep, deep, deep, in my heart." This week I felt that.

Our American group this week was a group of 12 from Arizona ranging from high schoolers to sweet men and women who were like grandparents to us. One of the them, a father to a full time staffer here, even insisted we call him Papa. They were so personal and encouraging. Last week I prayed that I would be able to form better relationships with the groups and God heard my prayers. He answered them with this sweet group that I was able to serve alongside with beautifully.

In the mornings we worked in a church called Vino Nuevo,which I have mentioned before. We have been attending church here and this week we were able to minister to them. While some worked on finishing a room, others helped with an English class, where, as most of you know, my passion lies. As I found out about this ministry, and the time drew closer I got more excited. On Monday when we began to set up I asked God to bless out time and fuel my passion for teaching English. He didn't fail me. We had about 4 students each day and our conversation was so joyful. It is so inspiring to see people intently focus on learning something by choice.There was a girl my age in the class that is incredibly sweet. I am so glad I am able to continue my relationship with her so we can practice her English and my Spanish. This was another time I felt God answering my prayers regarding relationship building!

In the afternoon we hopped around town to do 2 one day VBSs and 1 two day VBS. The kids we interacted with were beyond precious and so loving. I enjoyed getting to watch the group share the gospel each day. The pastors of each site were so receiving and thankful as we loved on the children they minister to year round. As I observed the children I was so amazed at how open they are with us. None of them ever hesitated to sit on our laps, give us hugs, play with our hair, or tell us anything we asked. I have began to fall in love with how honest this culture is.

This week is one I hope I never forget. Between the people, the experiences, and seeing God move in my heart and the hearts of others, these past 5 days have been chalk full of memories and lessons. I can't believe I am only here for less than 6 weeks longer. 

Prayer Requests:

-For our American group, Sunland Neighborhood Church from Sunland, CA, as they travel here Sunday and prepare their hearts to serve. 
-For our street Ministry on Monday as we advertise for VBS. 
-For our Sports Ministry at Casa de Esperanza, an orpanage here in Ensenada. 
-For our VBS and Construction ministry at a church called El Mesias.